I resisted writing this post. I was afraid to be THAT mom. The one getting all emotional about her ‘baby going to Kindergarten’. But then this week the wave of emotion hit me. My one baby, my only child, is not a baby anymore. And I’m not quite sure where the time has gone.
Cliche I know.
But, I pulled out my journal.
And I wrote.
What poured out is something I think every mom can relate to. Whether her child is a newborn, just starting Kindergarten, or is about to graduate high school.
The passage of time is something we can not resist, but we desire to walk through with grace, and ease. We want equally to shield our child’s innocence and let them be little forever while also allowing them their independence safely, in what can be a cruel and complex world.
Below are the words that poured out of me this week. As both a mom and a former Kindergarten teacher – I hope the perspectives I share resonate with you.
Because for the next 24 hours I am going to be THAT mom, and proud of it.
—-
Dear Brielle,
I like to think today is the day you are no longer a baby and officially grow up.
But honestly I know that you haven’t been a baby for quite some time. Your growing up shows in the way words, big words, roll off your tongue. It shows in the professional eye roll you’ve perfected when I ask you to help put the dishes away. And it shows in the way you insisted on playing with your friends or the babysitter all summer instead of me.
This past week I finally felt the loss of something we had. Perhaps it was the slipping away of childhood innocence, or neediness, or support. More and more you’re going after your independence and the true mark of that independence will strike when I let go of your hand and watch you walk onto the school bus to be shipped off to a world that I know first hand.
The world that will fully transform you to a BIG KID.
School.
You might feel some nerves.
But you won’t show it.
Like your mama you love the sense of freshness, of thrill, and of adventure that comes with starting a new journey.
12 years ago, the fresh journey for me was teaching my first year of Kindergarten in the same school system you will now attend.
With butterflies floating around in my tummy, brightly colored decorations on the walls, and a welcoming smile on my face, I said hello to 21 anxious 4 & 5 year olds. I lined them up like ducklings as they nervously descended those school bus steps and promised that I would take care of them and that we’d have so much fun.
Truth be told, I was a 22 year old first year teacher who was likely just as scared (if not more so) than some of those students. But I knew at the very least, I could give my love, sing songs, read lots of books, and play games with these eager learners.
So that’s exactly what we did.
And together we all learned a lot that year. I went to Kindergarten right alongside my 21 students. They of course learned the ‘important’ stuff like letters, sounds, numbers, shapes, and colors. But more importantly we learned caring, and compassion, and community. We called ourselves ‘the happy little class’ because there was always smiling, and laughter, and fun.
This experience is all I can hope for you in the coming year my little duckling.
My baby, you are about to embark on a 12 year adventure through school. You’ll be taught the essentials and will truly ‘grow up’. But please….oh please…don’t grow up too fast.
There will be good days and bad. But if you can find caring, and compassion and community (which I know you will) the good days will outweigh the ones that stink.
As I give you a hug on Monday morning, give your hand one final squeeze, and give your independent spirit permission to step onto that bus, I hope I’m letting you go into a world that’s as welcoming as the Kindergarten experience my ‘happy little class’ created 12 years ago (in case you’re doing the math…those kiddos are high school seniors this year!!).
If you only learn one lesson this year, it to always hold tightly to your playful spirit. Remember that school is a safe, loving, and welcoming place to dream, explore, and discover what you most want to grow up to be in this life.
I can’t wait to see who you become.
I love you little one.
Go off and be YOU. The amazing little bright light I know you to be.
xo.
Mama
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Details and registration are waiting for you right HERE. Head over and let’s see if this recipe is the right one for you!
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