I forgot what it was like to have a newborn. It amazing how in just 3.5 year’s time that feels like an worn and faded memory.
However last week it all came rushing back when we invited a new family member into our home.
Meet Penny.
Our sweet as can be, playful, patient, rescued doggie who stole our hearts and turned our ‘we’ll never be dog owners’ mindset into a mush of nothing but love and affection for her species.
(all of us minus the cats who are still not quite sure what to make of the whole ordeal)
I knew there would be a transition period, but forgot what it feels like to survive on nothing but coffee, chocolate, and adrenaline.
It’s more exhausting than I remember.
With a preschooler who just discovered a fear of the dark and a dislike of her room at 2am, 4am, and 6am on the dot; and an anxious doggie that chases the cats and is smart enough to open the crate door when she’s locked inside, I’ve had my work cut out for me.
Yesterday as I drove away from home with a screaming over tired daughter, a mind stressed over the sink full of dishes and lack of groceries in our fridge, and the realization that I forgot to turn the crate door toward the wall before leaving the house to keep the dog contained — my own anxiety kicked in.
I worried I’d drive home and arrive to a mess of clawed furniture, shredded blankets, and mauled cats — thwarting my plans to quietly carry the hopefully sleeping kiddo up to her bedroom for a much needed nap.
That’s when I decided there was going to be a drive through Starbucks in my future.
Fortunately our house was still in once piece when we returned home, the tired kid got a power nap in during the 40 minute commute, and I captured this quiet moment on the couch making everything about our hazy transition week worth it.
Sometimes these times of transition in our lives can feel so isolating, like no one has ever gone before us in these experiences. And it feels like they will never ever end. When I get to this place of feeling like I’m drowning, these are 5 strategies that help me come back to center and reset.
1) Seek Support
I don’t take for granted that I have a great partner in my husband and we try to really be a great team especially during tough times. Instead of getting short with each other we really try to support one another. When he sees me on edge he grabs the kid or the dog and gives me a 10 minute breather. I of course do the same for him when roles are reversed.
2) Get Sleep
That timeless adage of ‘sleep when your child sleeps’ is so true. Bedtime for Brielle is 7pm. I usually go to bed by 11pm. If I simply made the choice to go to bed one night at 7pm when she did I’d get so much more sleep and feel so much more refreshed when that unexpected 5am wake up call comes.
3) Eat (& Drink)
Sometimes I find myself using nothing but lattes and iced teas to get me through the hard days. I even get to the point where I forget to fuel my body with food because I’m putting out fires left and right. Eating a healthy sustaining meal usually sets me straight and turns my mood right around.
4) Move More
When my anxiety and adrenaline are on overdrive I need a place for all my extra energy to go. Taking a short walk, getting to the gym, or doing 10 minutes of yoga poses can give me just the right burst of energy to get me through.
5) Find A Community
I’ll admit have severe parenting anxiety. Like I’m doing it all wrong, that I’m ruining my child, or I’m not enough. As a recovering perfectionist and someone hardwired to strive for ambition in all areas of life, these moments of exhaustion are the perfect place for my ‘failure’ self-talk to sneak in. Finding a supportive parenting community like the one Shawn Fink has created over at ‘Abundant Mama‘ is a great way to talk it out with other moms and feel like you are indeed on right track with all your children (of the human and fur variety).
Shawn is just getting ready to begin another round of her hugely popular Abundant Mama course next week and I must tell you it couldn’t be better timing for me. I am an affiliate for the course and earn a bit when you buy through my link but I will tell you, Shawn is such a calming force (she’s been called the ‘Yoda of Mothers’!) and I’d share her awesomeness with you regardless.
Her class begins April 7th and you can find out all about it right HERE.