Last week I had one of those moments that stopped me in my tracks, took my breath away, and invited me into a more creative life .
Life here has been shifting and morphing so swiftly lately. It’s been a bit turbulent for a whole host of reasons that are for our family to sort through.
But I’ll admit, I’ve been so caught up in the midst of this transformation that I’ve been thinking more about the destination and not what’s unfolding in front of my eyes.
You know what that feels like, yes?
Where you don’t stop and analyze the bigger fuller picture of how you’ve connected the little dots of life to the place where you’re currently standing.
I think it’s important to connect those pieces though. They can guide us, ground us, and give us guidance when we’re unsure of what path to take next.
They’re an invitation to pause.
My daughter came home from school with this exact invitation the other day.
She revealed that her friends were talking about ‘dying’ during snack time. I was not aware this was the typical Kindergarten conversation of late.
::insert sarcasm::
But I rolled with it and in my surprise asked her the who’s, what’s, why’s, and how’s that topic came to be.
Her words took my breath away:
“I told my friends about my sister mommy, what was her name? Oh yeah….Bella!”
Bella.
We don’t speak her name often at home. But she knows the importance of her story and when we do speak her name she listens with every fiber of her little being. She knows her sister, who we lost after 20 weeks in my belly, inspired our family to lead a live of purpose, creativity, gratitude, and love.
My invitation.
My pause.
It had been so long since I’d looked at our journey with Bella as the starting marker. But the invitation was there, so I accepted it.
I remembered how in those early stages of grief, the weight of her was so heavy, yet hopeful.
The grief broke down a wall that had been built up inside me for way to long. Once the wall was gone there was a flood of emotions that came fast and furious.
There was pain, so much pain. Tears, anger, regret, confusion.
But there was also the whispers of desire, of a deeper purpose waiting to blossom out of her memory.
The gateway to all those emotions?
My camera. My creativity.
It’s no surprise that in the here and now of this new time of turbulence in our home, we’ve all been seeking greater creativity. I’ve been picking up my camera again and sewing. Little Miss Sunshine has been painting and drawing up a storm. And My Calmer has been exploring a past love of writing.
The flurry of creative activity is supportive and healing and hopeful.
And the pause has helped me remember that there is not destination. We’re on a journey to deeper understanding of ourselves and what makes us whole.
Are you being invited to pause?
To create?
To find greater purpose and fulfillment?
Join me and hundreds of other women in our free Recapture Self group, HERE. Our creative community is a place to connect and get inspired!