If I’m being honest I’d admit I’m tired. Like super duper mentally, physically, unconditionally exhausted from being pulled in a million different directions.
If I’m being honest I’d let you know about the guilt that consumes me as I plug away at my dream each night and each weekend instead of filling the quiet spaces with time for my Calmer, my friends, or myself.
If I’m being honest I’d share how I’ve had thoughts of panic and dread mixed in with pride and delight each time one of my photo classes makes its grand entrance into the world.
If I’m being honest I’d tell you that even with beaming pride comes an intense self-consciousness that stems from comparison of others who I think are doing life faster, better, or more successfully. I’m in a state of constant worry that my best just isn’t good enough.
If I’m being honest I’d reveal how I feel like I’ve been stripped down naked in front of you when I launch my babies – these courses I pour every last ounce of time, energy. heart, and soul into.
If I’m being honest I’d share just how difficult it is for an impatient girl like me to place these intimate pieces of me and my work out into the world and then slowly wait for others to lovingly accept them.
If I’m being honest I’d share how I beginning to realize that owning a business is a lot like being a mom. It’s harder work than I ever thought it would be, but it’s also more rewarding than I ever imagined too.
Why all of the honesty today? Because you should know that you aren’t alone. That it’s ok to speak your:
Fear.
Doubt.
Guilt.
Stress.
Anxiety.
Exhaustion.
Truth.
A lot of my recent truths surfaced as the result of adjusting, and readjusting, to what life looks like right now. But, these are the exact same truths I’ve had to lean into as I’ve explored my journey through business and motherhood as well. If you’re a mom, then you know all to well how this goes:
You bring an incredible bundle of joy into the world and all you want to do is see him or her become this radiant shining star of happiness in the world.
The journey begins with sleepless nights and really hard work. Then, there’s the fear over which way is the right way to: feed, bathe, sleep, clothe, and care for them. Next, comes the comparing game – where you dissect how all the other moms and families around you are doing it differently than you are (and maybe better…). Then the guilt that what you’re giving (your all) will never be enough. And, the stress and anxiety over keeping your little one safe, secure, and loved in your hands.
Today I honestly speak my truths so I can begin the important step learning to accept them and live with them.
And, one last thing – If I’m being totally honest, I can tell you how I can’t wait to help you rediscover your passions and confidence from behind the lens of a camera.
I feel very raw in sharing this one with you today (I almost didn’t publish it…) but I do feel like it’s incredibly important that even in these moments of uncertainty we let the the special people in our lives know that it’s these common emotions that connect us on life’s journey.
That our honest feelings are important. That we are not alone. And, that during these times it’s ok to be heard. xo.